Wednesday, March 17, 2010

"2,000 miles but that's still alright..."

"I'll see you in the morning if that's alright..."
In the midst of a very exciting and frantic crazy 12 hours of planning--I found the perfect way to find my way 2000 miles home for Easter...the stage was set: my senior thesis would be finally-drafted and handed in and my presentation will have come and gone, and by Wednesday night I would be enjoying the pride of finishing the capstone of 4 years of work at HOME, amidst my surprised and happy family.
Like I said, the stage was set...and happen chance has led to a series of troubles of which I still don't know the final outcome. We will see how the curtain falls. But, at first my thesis due date was pushed back, and therefore discouraging my 2000 mile flight the weekend before...The stars were aligning though, and as I magically got switched with someone else, my due date was moved back to March 30th allowing for my departure promptly on March 31st. ...My rides were arranged and I was looking forward to a cross-country drive of my beautiful Mid-West homeland, having much more natural beauty than anything I've seen in Southwest Florida.
FINALLY, after all was arranged I went back to purchase the tickets and was highly discouraged to see the prices practically triple in ways that are beyond my sense--I don't understand in any way how the airline SERVICES work in this country and how I wish we could be like Europe and use the train system in a cheaper and more practical fashion. ...I still am awaiting a sudden drop in prices as all watching me from their stars up there tell me to hold on to hope...Patience is not a virtue for the weak, and sadly, I find that I am only weak.
However, all of this is a happy distraction from the weight of my actual senior thesis: 4 years of work in intellectual endeavors compacted into one 25-30 page/20min. presentation--pass or fail. I comfort myself with the thought that there is no way I'm going to fail college, but at the same time the perfectionist in me is dying, and the stressed-out side is stressing out, and the vain/insecure/prideful part is mortified to speak declaratively and forcefully, defending MY argument to people with far greater depths of knowledge than yours truly.
Presently I await some kind of change in my great fate in the local coffee shop. I put on my music and watch everyone around me move to it as a small voice reminds me that "all will be well." I believe it. Life is good...and a friend stops by and gives me this prayer, which surely I will have memorized with 2 weeks: "Blessed Jesus, give me stillness of soul in Thee. Let Thy might calmness reign in me. Rule me, O Thou King of gentleness, King of peace."
Anyway, Happy St. Patrick's Day. I definately celebrated with a Guinness after class and wore the according amount of green to my 4% Irish background, hah.
Song of the Day: Tomorrow Morning by Jack Johnson.

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