Monday, March 15, 2010

Lilacs in a mason jar...


Thought for the day: All I want is lilacs in spring.
A picnic under the oak tree.
A bottle of wine.
...
Probably chocolate.
Yesterday, to end spring break, I finished My Antonia--one of my all time favorite books. Even though I've read it 4 or 5 times now, I still cry on and off through the last 40 pages. It brings tears to my eyes just to think about it; and afterward I sit a daze and contemplate the differences between Antonia and Jim's culture and ours, how Antonia raised her family, the struggles and hardships that made this country and allowed our families to be where they are at today. I wonder with Jim Burden if the dreams of one person can really be fitting for two? And my heart breaks over all that Antonia and Jim never had: why didn't they just stay together? why didn't they get married, I wonder?! Cuzak did not want what Antonia wanted, but he still got her...and Jim, oh how Jim's romantic heart treasured and kept Antonia, loved her and allowed her to become a part of himself. Yet apart they remain, and my heart cries out from the depths of my being "WHY!?"...
I can see Antonia, and her children and their house...it's all so present to me. And how Antonia teaches her children--she, as uneducated as she is formally speaking, imparts to her children everything that she has learned and all that she went through and grew up in truly became a part of her children...she passed on her very self and oh my heart, the beauty of her motherhood...how her children cherish her and know her.
Such a beautiful story.

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